This morning I was hoping to do a post that was all unicorns and rainbows. But now, a terrible rift has formed in a once beautiful relationship. Nike+, we need to “talk.”
We’ve had a great five years or so. I remember getting those first Nike+ shoes in New Orleans and going for my first run. Since then we’ve gone on long runs, speed workouts, tempo runs, and have been in plenty of races together. We’ve had a lot of good times together, but yesterday was the last straw.
Don’t get me wrong, you’re beautiful, smart and sexy -you know that, I’ve written about it before. I love the charts and graphs, working towards a new colour, those great heat maps, elevation graphs, kilometre splits, and it all looks so great! Unfortunately, beauty and smarts only go so far.
While I’ve been supporting you, you’ve decided to stop being there for me. I feel abandoned.
Take today for instance. We started out on a nice little 26k run. Things were going fine until I stopped hearing you. That’s happened a lot lately. You say you’re going to give me updates, but you suddenly go quiet partway through the run. It’s always different – at 6.3k one day, 11.72k another, sometimes it doesn’t happen at all. So today when it happened I thought you’d just decided to keep quiet for a while again, but that wasn’t it, was it?
While I was just past the 16k mark, you’d only recorded about 14.5k. Oh, the clock was still running, but you weren’t recording my position or pace anymore. In fact, you were recording my pace at 0km/h. It’s like you want me to look bad in front of my friends – after all, I am broadcasting these results to Facebook and Twitter. You let my time go on, but didn’t record my distance, and then averaged my time over the distance you recorded, making me look like a big slow-poke. Well, I’m not going to stand for it anymore.
I’m tired of not being able to rely on you. I need commitment. You can have all the good looks, sexy visuals and smart data in the world, but if I can’t depend on you, then this relationship just can’t continue.
If you don’t want to put the hard work into the relationship, then the least you could do is let me input my own data when you don’t feel like being there for me, but you don’t even trust me to do that! I could do the work, but you won’t let me! What am I going to do? Cheat? Who would I be cheating on? Only myself.
So, I think it’s best that we step back and just be friends. You can come on runs with me, but I’m not going to rely on you to record my data. Instead, I’m starting a new relationship with a friend of a friend – RunKeeper. Maybe when you grow up and start trusting me to adjust my data so that I’m not losing runs or run data, then we can be exclusive again, but you’ve got to know that the longer I’m with RunKeeper, the less likely I am to come back to you. Five years is a long time, and we’ll always have those great memories. Hopefully you’ll grow up soon.